Digital Break-Up Guide: How to Secure Your Phone and Accounts After a Split in 2024

Imagine this: The dust has settled after a difficult breakup, and as you try to move forward, you’re met with unsettling reminders of your past relationship.

Your shared playlists on Spotify are still being updated; your location is still popping up on Google Maps, and ride receipts from Uber trips your ex is taking are still being sent to your email. These aren’t just painful reminders — they’re red flags.

The thought of your ex still having access to your data and accounts is more than just uncomfortable; it’s a security concern. In today’s connected world, our digital lives hold sensitive information that shouldn’t be in the wrong hands.

Securing your personal information and accounts after a breakup is crucial, not just for your peace of mind but also for your privacy.

This article will guide you through essential steps to protect your digital life, offering general advice for a wide range of accounts and apps.

Whether it’s your email, social media, banking, or even smart home devices, these actions will help you regain control, safeguard your privacy, and move forward confidently.

Key points for securing your digital life after a breakup:

✅ Change passwords for all accounts, including email, social media, ride-sharing, and banking apps.

✅ Enable two-factor authentication (2FA) on all accounts.

✅ Review account recovery details and ensure they are up-to-date and secure.

✅ Review account activity for any suspicious logins or transactions.

✅ Adjust privacy settings on social media and messaging apps.

✅ Unfriend/unfollow your ex on social media if you don’t want them to see what you post.

✅ Cancel shared subscriptions and memberships.

✅ Review cloud storage and remove any sensitive files.

✅ Use a password manager to generate and store strong passwords.

✅ Stay vigilant and monitor your accounts for any suspicious activity.

Keep reading for more details on each of these plus find out about our Digital Breakup Assistant, a free tool that gives you tailored advice to secure your phone and accounts.

Digital Breakup Checklist

Step 1: Change your passwords and pins

The first thing to do in a digital breakup is to change all your passwords and PINs. We all know we shouldn’t share passwords, but it happens in relationships. Now that things are over, you must regain control of all your accounts.

Your passwords and PINs are the keys to your entire digital life. They protect your emails, social media, banking information, and more. Changing them immediately after a breakup prevents your ex from accessing sensitive information.

Make a list of all your accounts. Start with your most critical ones, such as email, banking, and social media.

How to create strong passwords

Create strong, unique passwords for each account. Avoid using easily guessable information like birthdays or pet names.

We know it’s tempting, but avoid using the same password for multiple accounts. If one account is compromised, all your accounts using that password become vulnerable.

Here’s how to create a strong password in 3 steps:

1️⃣ Think of a phrase: Start with a phrase that’s meaningful to you but not easily associated with you by others.

2️⃣ Modify the phrase:

• Replace some letters with numbers or symbols (e.g., “to” becomes “2” or “at” becomes “@” ).
• Capitalize some letters, especially the first letter of each word.
• Add hyphens or underscores between words.

3️⃣ Make it long: Aim for at least 12 characters, but longer is even better.

Examples:

✔️ I-love-2-cycle-on-Saturdays!

✔️ My-favorite-book-is-The-Hobbit-1937

✔️ The_cat_jumped_0ver_the_m00n!

Don’t forget about Multi-Factor Authentication (MFA)

You can also add an extra layer of protection by turning on Multi-Factor Authentication (MFA) wherever possible.

This typically involves receiving a code via text message or an authenticator app before you can log in. Even if your ex has your password, they won’t be able to access your account without this second verification step.

Step 2: Email account

After a breakup, protecting your email is a key step. Let’s outline the essential actions to take control and keep your personal information private:

Review and update account settings: Take a closer look at your account’s recovery options (backup email, phone number, security questions) and any connected apps or services. Update recovery details to keep them secure and disconnect any unnecessary or potentially risky connections.

Review email forwarding and filters: Ensure that no email forwarding rules or filters have been set up without your knowledge. These could be redirecting your emails to an address your ex can access.

Log out of all devices: Log out to end any active sessions on devices you no longer control.

Consider a fresh start: If you’re particularly concerned about the security of your existing email, consider creating a new one and moving your important contacts and information over.

Step 3: Messaging apps

Here are the immediate steps to take to secure your messaging apps after a breakup, regardless of the one you use:

• Check linked devices: Go through your messaging app’s settings and check the list of linked devices. Revoke access for any devices you no longer use or recognize.
• Review privacy settings: Go through the privacy settings on each app. Make sure your personal information, profile picture, and status updates are visible only to people you trust.
• Block and remove: If necessary, block your ex and any of their close associates.
• Log out of all devices: Log out of your messaging accounts on all devices except the ones you currently use. This prevents unauthorized access from old devices.

Here are a few more things to keep in mind:

✔️ Disable any location-sharing features or apps that might be connected to your messaging app.

✔️ If necessary, leave any group chats that you shared with your ex-partner or their friends/family.

✔️ Be mindful of what information you share on messaging apps, even with people you trust.

Step 4: Social media accounts

Social media has become an integral part of our lives, and after a breakup, it can be a minefield.

Changing your relationship status, deleting photos and unfriending your ex is a good start, but securing your social media accounts is equally crucial.

Below, we’ll discuss what you need to do to secure your social media accounts after a breakup:

• Review account access: Check the devices that have access to your social media accounts. If you see any unfamiliar devices or sign-ins, revoke access immediately.
• Review connected apps and services: Similarly, look through the third-party apps and services that are connected to your social media accounts. Remove any that you don’t recognize or no longer use.
• Update security questions: If your accounts use security questions, update them to something only you would know. Avoid questions that someone close to you might easily guess.
• Adjust privacy settings: Review and adjust your privacy settings to limit who can see your posts, photos, and personal information.
• Change email and phone number: If your breakup involves someone who might try to access your accounts, consider changing the email address and phone number associated with your social media accounts to something they don’t know.
• Log out from all devices: If your social media platform allows it, log out of all devices. This will end any sessions on devices you no longer use.

Step 5: Banking and finance apps

Your financial accounts are the most critical to safeguard after a breakup. Unauthorized access to your bank accounts can have serious consequences.

Aside from changing your password and setting up MFA, here are some general steps to secure your banking apps:

• Update personal information: Ensure that your contact information, such as your phone number and email address, is up to date. If necessary, change this information to something your ex-partner does not know.
• Remove old devices: If you’ve used a shared or old device for banking, ensure that your banking app is removed from it and that the device no longer has access to your accounts.
• Review account activity: Monitor your account activity regularly for unauthorized transactions. If you notice anything suspicious, report it to your bank immediately.
• Set up alerts: Enable account alerts for transactions, login attempts, or any changes to your account. These alerts can help you quickly identify unauthorized activity.

• Review linked accounts and services: Check if your banking apps are linked to other services, such as payment services, investment platforms, etc. Remove any unnecessary connections, especially if they were set up during your relationship and could compromise your security.
• Secure physical cards: If your ex knew your credit card details or had it saved to their device, you may want to consider requesting a new card from your bank.
• Update security questions: If your banking apps use security questions, update them to questions only you would know the answer to. Avoid common questions that others might guess easily.

Step 6: Ride-sharing and delivery apps

While ride-sharing and delivery apps offer convenience, they also store data about your movements and habits.

After a breakup, reviewing these apps to protect your privacy and ensure your ex doesn’t have access to your whereabouts is wise. Here is what to do:

• Check linked payment methods: Check the payment methods saved in these apps. If you see any unfamiliar payment information or are concerned about privacy, consider removing and re-adding your payment methods.
• Update account information: Change any account information that your ex-partner might know, such as your phone number, email address, or home address. If you’ve used shared addresses or places you frequently visit, consider updating or removing those as well.
• Review ride and delivery history: Go through your ride and delivery history to ensure there are no unauthorized trips or orders. If you spot anything unusual, report it to the service provider immediately.
• Check linked accounts: If your ride-sharing or delivery apps are linked to your social media or other accounts, review those connections. Disconnect any accounts that are not necessary or might compromise your security.
• Adjust location-sharing settings: Some apps may allow you to share your location with others. Make sure this feature is turned off or adjusted to ensure your location is only shared with trusted contacts.
• Log out from all devices: If the app offers the option, log out of all devices. This will ensure that any sessions on devices you no longer control are terminated.

Step 7: IoT and smart devices

After a breakup, one often overlooked aspect of digital security is securing your Internet of Things (IoT) devices.

From smart thermostats and doorbells to connected appliances and security systems, these Internet of Things (IoT) devices can inadvertently provide an ex-partner with a window into your daily life.

It’s crucial to regain control of your smart home and ensure that your ex can no longer access these potentially invasive devices.

Here’s how to secure IoT devices:

• Identify your devices: Make a list of all the IoT devices in your home. This could include smart speakers, thermostats, doorbells, lights, locks, cameras, and any other internet-connected appliances.
• Change passwords and Wi-Fi networks: Change the passwords for all your IoT devices and consider setting a new password for your home WiFi network.
• Review user accounts: Check the user accounts associated with each device and remove any accounts that your ex might have access to.
• Disable remote access: Disable any remote access features that allow the devices to be controlled from outside your home network.
• Factory reset (if necessary): If you’re particularly concerned about a device’s security, consider performing a factory reset to restore it to its original settings. Be sure to back up any important data first.

Are You Leaving an Abusive Relationship?

Escaping an abusive relationship requires careful attention to your digital security. Abusers often utilize technology to exert control, monitor, and stalk their victims.

In addition to the tips we’ve discussed above, consider these crucial steps to protect yourself:

1️⃣ Scan for spyware and trackers

Numerous cell phone spy apps exist that can enable someone to read your private messages and monitor your device’s location. To protect your privacy, it’s crucial to scan all your devices for hidden tracking apps and spyware. Use a trusted anti-spyware app to perform a thorough scan. If any threats are detected, ensure they are removed immediately.

Certo offers reliable anti-spyware solutions for both iPhone and Android, with free options available on both platforms. These apps can help you take back control of your privacy by:

✅ Device scanning: Quickly scan your cell for any spyware and remove it with a single tap.

✅ Security analysis: Examine various device settings to identify potential vulnerabilities.

✅ Privacy audit: Review which apps have permission to access features like your microphone and camera.

✅ Intrusion alarm: Set an alarm to activate if there’s any unauthorized attempt to access or tamper with your device.

Fig 1. Detecting spyware with Certo for Android.

2️⃣ Disable location sharing

Turn off location sharing in your phone’s settings and within individual apps, such as family tracking and social media apps.

Review the privacy settings on your social media accounts to ensure your location isn’t automatically shared when you post photos or updates.

Disconnecting from any shared Apple/Google accounts or other services that track location data is also critical.

If you feel unsafe, seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or a domestic violence organization. See our resources page for victims of tech abuse here.

Final Thoughts

Securing your digital accounts after a breakup is not just about moving on — it’s about protecting your privacy and, in some cases, ensuring your safety.

By taking the steps outlined in this guide, you can regain control over your personal information and prevent any unwanted access from your past relationship.

Breakups are challenging enough without the added stress of digital security concerns. If you need more detailed guidance or help navigating this process, check out Certo’s Digital Breakup Assistant.

This tool provides specific, step-by-step instructions to ensure every aspect of your digital life is secure, giving you peace of mind as you move forward.