Are Attitudes to Phone Snooping Changing?
Updated:
Note: This research is from 2020 and may not reflect current attitudes. That said, the findings remain strikingly relevant and the numbers are still worth paying attention to.
We all know what it’s like to feel a flash of suspicion. A partner comes home late, seems distant, and suddenly the idea of taking a quick glance at their phone doesn’t feel so unreasonable. But is it?
Here at Certo, we commissioned a survey to find out how people really feel about phone snooping — not just whether they’d do it, but whether they think it’s okay, whether it’s illegal, and how they’d react if the tables were turned.
The results are illuminating. And in some cases, a little surprising.
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What We Asked — and Why
The survey explored attitudes towards phone snooping within relationships. We wanted to understand:
- How comfortable people are with checking a partner’s phone
- Whether they’d feel differently about being snooped on themselves
- What people would actually do if they suspected their partner was spying on them
- And crucially — whether they understood the legal implications
There’s a meaningful difference between glancing at a partner’s phone while they’re in the shower and deliberately installing spyware. But they sit on the same spectrum, and understanding where people draw the line tells us a lot about how we think about privacy in relationships.
The survey, visualized…
Most People Know Their Partner’s Passcode
The first finding sets the stage: 59% of people surveyed knew their partner’s phone passcode.
That’s more than half. And among 25–34 year olds, that figure rises to 78%.
Knowing a passcode, of course, doesn’t mean someone is snooping. But it does create the opportunity. And when we asked those who knew their partner’s code whether they’d ever look through their phone if they felt it was justified, 67% said yes.
That’s a significant number. Two thirds of people who have access to their partner’s phone say they’d use that access if they thought it was warranted.
Younger People Are More Likely to Snoop
Age plays a big role in how people approach this. Younger respondents were considerably more willing to look through a partner’s phone:
- 69% of 25–34 year olds said they would snoop on a partner’s device
- That number falls to just 37% of those over 65
It’s not entirely clear why this gap exists. It may reflect generational differences in how people view digital privacy, or the fact that younger relationships often play out more visibly across phones and social media — creating both more temptation and more perceived justification.
Women Are More Likely to Check Than Men
The survey also found a clear gender split. 67% of women said they would look through a partner’s phone, compared to 45% of men.
This is a notable difference. While the reasons behind it are complex — and almost certainly tied to a range of social and relational dynamics — it suggests that the impulse to check a partner’s phone is far from evenly distributed.
Most People Don’t Think It’s Illegal — But They’re Wrong
This is perhaps the most striking finding in the whole survey.
Only 31% of people believed that installing spyware on someone’s phone was illegal. Of the rest, 52% thought the legality depended on the circumstances, and 17% thought it was never illegal at all.
In reality, installing spyware on another person’s phone without their consent is illegal in all 50 U.S. states, and in most countries around the world. It doesn’t matter if it’s a spouse, a partner, or a family member — consent is the line, and crossing it can result in criminal charges.
Pro Tip: If you’re unsure about the laws around phone monitoring in your state, Certo has put together a comprehensive guide to U.S. cyberstalking laws by state that’s worth bookmarking.
The fact that so few people understand this is worrying. It means many victims don’t realize they have legal recourse, and many perpetrators don’t realize they’re committing a crime.
So What Would People Do If They Suspected They Were Being Spied On?
We also asked respondents what they’d do if they believed their partner was monitoring their phone. The answers broke down roughly as follows:
- Around half said they’d secure their phone first
- 47% said they would confront their partner directly
- 25% said they’d do nothing at all
That last figure is concerning. A quarter of people — faced with the suspicion that someone is secretly monitoring their private communications — would take no action.
And older respondents were more likely to fall into this group: 39% of those over 65 said they’d do nothing, compared to just 16% of 25–34 year olds.
There are a lot of possible reasons for this: uncertainty about whether spying is actually happening, fear of confrontation, or simply not knowing what to do. But doing nothing rarely makes the problem go away.
The Difference Between Snooping and Spyware
It’s worth drawing a clear line here, because the survey spans a wide spectrum of behavior.
Glancing at a partner’s phone while it’s unlocked on the table is one thing — ethically debatable, but not criminal.
Installing monitoring software without someone’s knowledge is something else entirely. It’s covert, it’s invasive, and in most places, it’s a criminal act.
Spyware apps — sometimes marketed as “parental monitoring tools” or “relationship safety apps” — can give someone access to your text messages, call history, GPS location, and even your camera and microphone. And crucially, they’re designed to be invisible to the person being monitored.
If you’re concerned that someone may have installed something on your device, it’s worth running a proper check. Certo’s apps are designed to detect exactly this kind of software, including threats that standard security apps often miss.
What to Do If You Suspect Phone Spying
If something doesn’t feel right, here are some practical first steps:
- Change your passcode — Use something only you know, and consider using a random combination rather than a memorable date or number.
- Review your apps — Look for anything you don’t recognize, especially apps with suspicious permissions, hidden in folders or buried in settings menus.
- Check your battery and data usage — Spyware runs in the background and can cause unusual battery drain or data spikes.
- Update your software — Keeping your device up to date closes security vulnerabilities that spyware can exploit.
- Run a scan — A dedicated spyware detection tool like Certo AntiSpy will catch things that aren’t visible to the naked eye.
If you suspect the monitoring is connected to an abusive relationship, please reach out for support. The Coalition Against Stalkerware has resources specifically for people in this situation, and Certo has a dedicated resources page too.
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Wrapping Up
The data from this survey paints a complicated picture. Phone snooping is common, normalized in many relationships, and widely misunderstood from a legal standpoint. A significant portion of people either don’t know their rights — or don’t feel empowered to act on them.
If you take one thing from this, let it be this: your privacy matters, and you have both the right and the tools to protect it. Suspicion is uncomfortable. Uncertainty is worse. But you don’t have to sit with either.
FAQs
Can my partner legally monitor my phone if they pay the phone bill?
Not without your consent. Paying for a phone plan doesn’t give someone the right to secretly track your activity. Consent is what matters under the law — not ownership or financial responsibility.
Is there a difference between parental monitoring apps and spyware?
In principle, yes — parental monitoring tools are designed to be used transparently, with the child’s knowledge. In practice, the same apps are frequently used to spy on adults without consent. The technology is identical. What makes it legal or illegal is whether the person being monitored has agreed to it.
If I find spyware on my phone, should I remove it straight away?
It depends. If you’re in a safe environment, removing it is usually the right call. But if you’re in an abusive relationship, removing spyware without a plan can sometimes alert the abuser and escalate things. The Coalition Against Stalkerware recommends reaching out for support before taking action — their resources can help you do this safely.
Sophia is a Senior Cybersecurity Writer at Certo, with over five years of experience writing about digital security, privacy, and emerging threats. Drawing on a background in IT and technology, she specializes in translating complex cybersecurity topics into clear, practical guidance that helps everyday users stay protected online.